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Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
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When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, \'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don\'t believe?
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
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I have not failed. I\'ve just found 10,000 ways that won\'t work.
Not even computers will replace committees, because committees buy computers.
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He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
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Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
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Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
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We don\'t like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
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Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
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The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing but together can decide that nothing can be done.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
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We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
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Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
Sometimes, the best answer is a more interesting question
I don\'t even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don\'t have it.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn\'t have an air force.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
Don\'t let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
Oh for pity\'s sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
There is no idea so simple and powerful that you can\'t get zillions of people to misunderstand it.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
Attention to health is life\'s greatest hindrance.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
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Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
Whenever I climb I am followed by a dog called \'Ego\'.
Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
I\'m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
I\'m trying to see things from your point of view but I can\'t get my head that far up my ass.
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
You got to be careful if you don\'t know where you\'re going, because you might not get there.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
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In America, anybody can be president. That\'s one of the risks you take.
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
Why don\'t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
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Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
When I die I\'m going to leave my body to science fiction.
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
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But at my back I always hear Time\'s winged chariot hurrying near.
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
I\'m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can\'t understand is, if they don\'t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
I\'m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
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We didn\'t lose the game; we just ran out of time.
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money.
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
Why don\'t they make the whole plane out of that black box stuff.
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
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We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
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He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
Ever notice when you blow in a dog\'s face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window?
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
When you\'ve seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
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If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
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Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, \'Where have I gone wrong?\' Then a voice says to me, \'This is going to take more than one night.\'
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If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
There\'s many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
It\'s clearly a budget. It\'s got a lot of numbers in it.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
People who think they know everything greatly annoy those of us who do.
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Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
The most important job is not to be Governor, or First Lady in my case.
Experience is what you get when you were expecting something else.
Diplomacy is the art of saying \'Nice doggie!\'... \'til you can find a rock.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
Is your argument that the Creator of the Universe was working under a deadline and His manager forced Him to rush inefficient designs into production?
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The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
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Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
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The most overlooked advantage of owning a computer is that if they foul up there\'s no law against whacking them around a bit.
My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
I wouldn\'t mind dying - it\'s the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
Statistics is like a bikini. What they reveal is suggestive. What they conceal is vital.
They couldn\'t hit an elephant at this dist--
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
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The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
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Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
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Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
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I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It\'s about Russia.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
A man\'s only as old as the woman he feels.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn\'t it.
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
If you believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse\'s family too.
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
I\'m not a member of any organized political party, I\'m a Democrat!
I\'ve just learned about his illness. Let\'s hope it\'s nothing trivial.
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Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
I\'m not a member of any organized political party, I\'m a Democrat!
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
I\'d stop eating chocolate, but I\'m no quitter.
Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes?
Emulate your heros, but don\'t carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
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Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
I\'m desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
War doesn\'t make boys men, it makes men dead.
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn\'t go away.
I\'d stop eating chocolate, but I\'m no quitter.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
Throughout American history, the government has said we\'re in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It\'s a hoax.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/26/(Thu) 10:26
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